For Today

Bob is still suffering with the depression and anxiety. He experiences days of intense anxiety and other days when he just gets through the day. My heart breaks for him. When I first started this blog site I had no idea of the length of time he would be dealing with these terrible symptoms. Yesterday Bob had blood drawn for a large panel of tests. At least we will have things to eliminate and who knows, maybe there is something else going on. Sometimes before Bob wakes up, he experiences a head to toe 4 second shake. Then he wakes up. What is that? It reminds me so much of what he went through in Sept. 2011(see previous posts).

Time Passes

Well, here I am realizing that my last post was almost a year ago. Many of you might be wondering how Bob is doing. He is still dealing with the major depression; onset April 2011. We are 100% sure that the toxic reaction to the drug he was on in Sept of 2011 and how long it took the doctors to recognize the symptoms were not due to anxiety but the drug, caused this long term condition. Some times I just sit in disbelief that drugs were prescribed that caused him so much anguish. Today he is experiencing withdrawal symptoms from the clonazepam that was prescribed at too high a dose for too long. Do I want to blame someone? I have handed that over to the LORD and pray I will not grab hold of that judgement again. You can look back at past posts to see how high of a dose the docs had him on - crazy high. It is a long process but he is currently down to .25 in the morning and .50 at bedtime. I am so proud of him. I can see the physical and mental anguish he experiences from cutting the dosage. Please beware when any BENZO drug is prescribed. Long term use(anything over a few weeks)will cause withdrawal symptoms. If done too quickly, can even cause death.

Called to Encourage

As I was getting ready to update Bob's condition, I felt like I was suppose to report on my own. Interesting. My condition. First of all, I never feel alone. The LORD is with me. He brings me peace and He brings me encouragement. I cannot imagine what my condition would be if I did not have Him. Lesson 1: Praise Him Daily; In all situations. Lesson 2: Share the Gospel. Don't let an opportunity go by...even if it is just planting a seed or a spirit filled reminder to someone who has already heard. Lesson 3: Be An Encourager and Love As He Loves Lesson 4: Always Forgive. In His Love - Linda

The Road To Recovery

It has been a few months since I last wrote. My heart just has not been in it. Let me first say that Bob is doing much better. The road to coming off the prescription drug, clonazepam has been a bit bumpy. You cannot just stop taking the med, you must gradually cut the dose. Thank goodness we found a website, www.benzo.org.uk and read the Ashton Manual. It certainly helped both Bob and I to understand just what was happening. I will post more in the next few days.

The Path

For the most part not much has changed with Bob's condition since January. Some days I feel like I see glimmers of Bob and then I am not so sure. January came with his father going into the hospital with pneumonia, then a heart attack, then renal failure. He is much better now and thank goodness because now Bob's mom is in the hospital. She had back surgery and it seems to have been successful. Praise God!
Bob's meds are still the same but with an increase in 1 doseage for the doxepin. He is so fustrated in the progress he is making.

It's A New Year

I have not done a very good job of keeping up with Bob's progress because for the most part we have been doing a lot of one step forwards, two steps back. We have been discouraged and encouraged. On December 13th we ended up at our family doctor because we felt no direction from the specialist. She had told Bob to cut back on the Lorazepam but did not give him any plan to follow. Bob cut the dosage too quickly and ended up worse. Fustrating.

After a trip to the ER and with our family doctors guidance, blood work and a brain scan was done along with seeing a neurologist. All checked out o.k. Thankful for that news.

We have decided to only work with our family doctor at this point because we trust him and we know that he will be there for Bob every step of the way. Our doctor has put him back on Clonazepam, which he has taken in the past for his nerve condition and also doxepin.
The meds appear to be making a difference with the shaking. Now Bob and I need to work on filling his mind with truth. He has struggled with this for so long that he is stuck in a pattern that needs to be broken. I know that for myself, I need to fill my mind and heart with God's word....moment by moment.

The Shakes Continue

Here we are coming to the end of November and the shakes still continue in the morning. There have been a couple of mornings with no shakes at all. It is hard to know what the difference is. So fustrating. I honestly don't know if taking the lorazepam makes any difference at all. Looking at what "I see", I keep going back to the original problem when the shakes started, the high dose of prescribed flouxetine. I have read that during the sleep pattern, the brain during the REM cycle experiences low to almost dormant serotonin. Then when it comes out of that cycle, the serotonin starts to "fire up". Is it possible that there has been some type of damage to nerves in the brain, and that depending on how he comes out of that cycle, shaking may or may not occur? Looking for answers. I don't know if there are any truthful answers except, they just don't know what is causing the shaking.
The other thing that Bob is dealing with is pain in his hands and shoulders. The hand/joint pain started at the end of September and one pharmacist that I spoke with told me it was a reaction to the meds. It makes sense, but no one else is making that same statement. Confused.
Bob is trying to work, which is great in many ways. I just know he is exhausted and in pain.
Praying for healing.