It's A New Year

I have not done a very good job of keeping up with Bob's progress because for the most part we have been doing a lot of one step forwards, two steps back. We have been discouraged and encouraged. On December 13th we ended up at our family doctor because we felt no direction from the specialist. She had told Bob to cut back on the Lorazepam but did not give him any plan to follow. Bob cut the dosage too quickly and ended up worse. Fustrating.

After a trip to the ER and with our family doctors guidance, blood work and a brain scan was done along with seeing a neurologist. All checked out o.k. Thankful for that news.

We have decided to only work with our family doctor at this point because we trust him and we know that he will be there for Bob every step of the way. Our doctor has put him back on Clonazepam, which he has taken in the past for his nerve condition and also doxepin.
The meds appear to be making a difference with the shaking. Now Bob and I need to work on filling his mind with truth. He has struggled with this for so long that he is stuck in a pattern that needs to be broken. I know that for myself, I need to fill my mind and heart with God's word....moment by moment.

The Shakes Continue

Here we are coming to the end of November and the shakes still continue in the morning. There have been a couple of mornings with no shakes at all. It is hard to know what the difference is. So fustrating. I honestly don't know if taking the lorazepam makes any difference at all. Looking at what "I see", I keep going back to the original problem when the shakes started, the high dose of prescribed flouxetine. I have read that during the sleep pattern, the brain during the REM cycle experiences low to almost dormant serotonin. Then when it comes out of that cycle, the serotonin starts to "fire up". Is it possible that there has been some type of damage to nerves in the brain, and that depending on how he comes out of that cycle, shaking may or may not occur? Looking for answers. I don't know if there are any truthful answers except, they just don't know what is causing the shaking.
The other thing that Bob is dealing with is pain in his hands and shoulders. The hand/joint pain started at the end of September and one pharmacist that I spoke with told me it was a reaction to the meds. It makes sense, but no one else is making that same statement. Confused.
Bob is trying to work, which is great in many ways. I just know he is exhausted and in pain.
Praying for healing.

Time Passes

Bob had a doctor's appointment on October the 18th and it was decided that he should continue on with the lorazepam but add Zyprexa. He is taking 3mg of lorazepam in the morning, along with 2.5ml zyprexa and 3mg lorazepam at bedtime with 5ml zyprexa. He is also to take 1mg lorazepam in the afternoon. After 2 weeks of that regiment, we had an appointment on Thursday, November 3rd and he is to continue for another 3 weeks. Though the shaking is confined to the morning - as soon as he gets awake, it is normally gone within an hour or so. It is NOTHING like it was, but is still causing him distress. Why is it happening? The doctor still says it is anxiety but honestly, I can't help but think there is something else going on. The long term affects of the toxic dose of prozac(fluoxetine) and the number of hour and hours of shaking/jolting that Bob endured has to have taken a toll on his nervous system.

In the Morning

I use to love the mornings. There was always such hope with the dawn of a brand new day. I know that the hope is still there, somewhere but it is hard to see when the day starts with shakes and jolts. It appears there is a real pattern here. For the past few days, around 5:00am Bob wakes up, goes to the bathroom and when he comes back to bed, the shakes begin.

We need to know without a doubt that this is still part of the serotonin syndrome. September 18th was the first day of no fluoxetine. We are going into the 1st full month of not taking the drug that caused the problem. Trying to find some real information on how long this can continue has been exhausting.

Bob is only taking larazepam and cyproheptadine.

More of the Same

Since my last post, Bob has experienced more of the same. Morning tremors and shakes. Nothing like it had been, but still fustrating for him. We have to look beyond what we are seeing on the surface and try to understand what is happening deep within. The fluoxetine chemical components breakdown in stages. It's affects are not localized to just one area of the body. My sister-in-law was able to explain it to me with chemistry largo. It is important to keep in mind, that we are talking about when the drug becomes toxic; serotonin syndrome. Fluoxetine(and drugs like it) are used successfully to treat depression and related symptoms. What happened to my husband is not the norm, but it does happen. And when it happens to you or someone you love, it is frightening. The question always looms, when will this end?

Holding On To Half Way There

Bob was able to work about 4 hours yesterday morning. I find that simply amazing compared to how he was Monday morning. Taking the cyproheptadine makes a huge difference in controlling the affects of the syndrome. At this point, Bob seems to be just pushing through the depression. I asked him yesterday, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best possible, how do you feel overall? He thought a bit and answered maybe a 5. Not sure he really meant it, but I said, well you are half way there!! Progress is good.

Reality Check

First of all, I want to express how thankful I am to see that Bob is making progress. When I look back over the past month or so, it is obvious that he is getting better. It is still very difficult though. Even though he pushed his way to work about 4 hours Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday and Friday, Bob was feeling weak and shaky.

Saturday and Sunday mornings both brought shaking and jolting, giving him an overall feeling of oh now, it's coming back. Yesterday morning Bob shook from head to feet. It was short lived but scary. His whole body shook and his arms and legs jerked and flopped - he had no control over them.

Even though I was pretty certain that was to be expected, I wanted to be sure we were not overlooking something. I called our family doctor and we decided that Bob needed to go into the office. We reviewed EVERYTHING. We are confident that yes, it is Serotonin Syndrome and it will take weeks before all of the symptoms stop. (Actually, I had read months but I'm holding onto weeks)

Our doctor gave Bob a neurological examination. All looked well. For now we are going to start up the cyproheptadine(allergy med that blocks serotinin) 4mg tablets. 1 tablet 3 times a day. He suggested taking one in the morning, one later in the day, and one closer to bedtime. He is to continue on with the Lorazepam, 2mg tablets - one in the morning and one at bedtme. Also, 2, 1mg tablets spaced during the day as needed.

Bob weaned himself off of the Zyprexa over the weekend. Our doctor agreed that was a wise decision at this point. I am praying that the depressed state will lift on it's own.

Reality check. Things take time. Never lose hope. Our God is greater. Our God is stronger. He is the One and Only. The great I AM.